Santa Klaus Is Sorta Probably Maybe comin' to town
by Nate-kun
Summary: Drabble but I may make more Chapters. If Klaus had been given the role of old St. Nick, Ensure for randomness, Super duper OOC-ness , and Cows with Don Paolo heads! Might change it T IF I feel it needs too. 'Small Spoiler' as well...I guess. Dated.


Klaus is having some trouble delivering presents on Christmas Eve.

That's odd, because I uploaded this story on Dec. 23-Dec. 24!

Let the madness…

BEGIN!

* * *

**T**he cows with Don Paolo heads streamed across the sky with a sleigh being pulled along the way, a young man sat in the sleigh, presents were behind him and he seemed nervous.

"Crap, crap, crap, craaaap!" said the young man, obviously nervous at everything.

A flock of birds flew over the young man and each of them decapitated in mid-flight, each landing on him.

"Can it get any worse...Why me…It's because my name is Klaus isn't it?" said the man named 'Klaus'

At that sudden moment Klaus' sleigh crashed into the roof of the next house! The Don Paolo cows moo-ed, being hurt by the roof's tiles and such.

Klaus climbed off of the sleigh, grabbing a present and heading down the chimney.

Klaus sadly, had failed to notice that the sign in front of the house said: The Three Little Pigs

Klaus was climbing down the chimney when he saw a strange looking wolf also climbing down! The wolf looked at Klaus and licked its tongue…oh dear…

"MY EYES OW STOP HURTING ME DELIBIRTLEY! THE TEETH! IT'S IN MY RACCOON WOUNDS! "Klaus yelled, before being mentally murdered by a wolf.

The wolf eventually whacked Klaus to a pulp and climbed out the chimney. Feeling safe, Klaus continued his adventure towards the inside of the house. Unfortunately the "pigs" were boiling water in a pot at the bottom of the chimney, and it wasn't too long before "Santa Klaus" was burned so much it made living a daily basis 24/7 in a giant furnace seem MUCH better by a long shot!

"OHHH! OHHHH! MY BUM! MY **(The following swears are not for the fate of heart…or the fate of your mom's back for that matter…) **

_Twenty minutes, burns, bandages, and lawsuits later_

Santa Klaus was off again, realizing he was stuck in some obnoxious fairy tale whozit what land. Taking off, one of the Don Paolo cows threw up on him, blinding him and eventually crashing into poor Big Ben! Taking it down in the process!!!

"…If anybody says anything…the fat guy did it…" Klaus said to the cows, still knowing that none of them would understand, so it was like he talked to himself.

"Moo moo moo moo? Moo moo moo moo moo!?!?!"

Translation for English speakers **(And Hippocritics YES HIPPOCRITICS NOT HYPOCRITICS …)**: What fat guy? The tub of lard from Family Guy!?!?!

Inspector Chelmey and Barton came to arrest Klaus again, but then the cows puked on them, sending a wave of putrid green vomit carrying them into the mists of a moo moo cow…..Whatever that is.

Next stop: The Professor's house

Klaus' sleigh broke almost every Christmas decoration in London, not to mention it almost killed 453 citizens **(*COUGH* Including the Prime Minister *COUGH*)**

Klaus tried to handle his sleigh, but since the next stop was Layton's house, all the Don Paolo cows were in mode, probably plotting there next plot…

It was late night in London, and the sleigh was uncontrollable! The sleigh was heading closer to Layton's house. Eventually Klaus didn't land it right on the roof…give or take he actually landed somewhere…glassier.

..

..

..

Boom went the Professor's windows…

Layton was sleeping until he heard Klaus 'crash' in. Sighing, the professor stood up and motioned for the cows to go downstairs, unfortunately due to the fact that the cows weren't reindeer, or related to reindeer, and because they were based off Don Paolo, not to mention because the author thought it would be randomly amusing if the cows had big fat Paolo heads, did they run into another room upstairs.

The cows were making a mess of the place, Luke and Flora were gathered near the professor as Klaus tried to calm them down, however the cows disagreed and one of them "donkey kicked" Flora out the window, flying a few feet!!!

"This….is not good…" Said Klaus…but then he suddenly remembered his backup plan…

Grabbing a remote with a button, Klaus pushed it red….red-iness (If such a word exists, which I doubt) and destroyed the whole galaxy!!!!!!!! Replacing it with a white space…

"Now that I gave you all the slip…PLEASE REVIEW THIS THING OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL SEND MY MONSTROUS GOOGLE MUNCHERS AT YOU!!!!!!....Thanks for listening…"Said the now mentally confused Klaus.

With Christmas over, Klaus had to work out his mentally confused self at the local asylum…

"Hello Klaus I just wanted to check on you because I- OH MY GOODNESS!" Layton suddenly shouted, his top hat flying a few feet…

"TOOK MAH BABY….TOOK MAH RABIES…" Said the really…really disturbing Klaus as he was holding a teddy bear and a copy of George Lopez's top 5 funniest things to say to cover up the fact that you dropped the soap in jail…

"Oh dear professor…HEY WAIT A MINUTE! Where's Flora!?!" Luke suddenly said as he walked in.

_Meanwhile…_

"Mmmk…I've played with cows before in that town once….but seriously….THIS IS JUST WRONG!" Flora said as she was being tortured on an electric chair by the Don Paolo cows.

MOO MOO MOO!

MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO POO DOO DOO!

Translation: GIVE US THE MONEY!

Translation: DONNY KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE!

_Uhh…..Yeah...don't ask about that…_

_

* * *

  
_

I don't know how I came up with this! Maybe because of the fact that Klaus sounds like Claus…ha…Anyways this was just....utterly random for me o.e I felt it was short but I think I could do much better!


End file.
